Thirty-First of July.

This past week I've been busy looking for jobs again and reading Harry Potter, as well as organising a possible trip to the Aboyne Games to see my lovely family.

We had a fantastic family trip to Whitby yesterday for which the weather turned out to be on our side. Yes, I did go paddling and was unfortunately wearing white linen trousers when I got soaked by the sea. Paddling wasn't the same as swimming in the sea though and I sorely wished that I'd thought to bring along swimming things - nothing beats going for a swim in the sea regardless of what the weather's like at the time! I took lots and lots, of what I hope are, wonderful pictures that will soon follow in another post probably. 

I've been reading quite a few articles online this week and a certain few have caught my attention. Some of the topics will hopefully get a post of their own at some point in the near future but until then this will have to do.

Top Five Interests

1. Student Loans Company took £22m in over payments! Surely this is just wrong? How can a certified company operate in such a way and then blame it on their clients? I wonder whether they do actually keep some of the over payment money if the clients don't realise about it...

2. Rihanna covers up! This has to be noteworthy purely for the fact that it doesn't just look as though Rihanna is wearing underwear for a change. Personally I'm not a big supporter of Rihanna, especially not her lyrics or her outfits. I just don't think that she's a good role model to the children that she's influencing, she's more interested in making a 'statement' no matter how perverse it is.

This is my favourite picture from the article. I think the dress is simply divine! I love any variation of a dark green colour in clothes partly because my birthstone is emerald and partly because is sets off my skin tone really well. I'm also a sucker for anything with a vintage feel about them and the lace teamed with a miniature peter pan collar does that perfectly.

3. Quidditch World Cup! It is rather dependent on the fact that you like Harry Potter but surely this is impressive to anyone?! Of course it's in America so it'd be rather hard to get to but nevertheless it would be awesome. Just before moving back to Sheffield I went to visit a friend in Nottingham who took me to his student's union for lunch (fantastic new potato chips!) and whilst there I noticed a large gathering of what looked like Harry Potter, excuse my terminology, nerds. I asked my friend about it later and he informed that their university had a Quidditch society. How cool! Coincidentally here's a brilliant parody song about Quidditch.

4. Harmful to tell your daughter that she's pretty? This is pretty controversial and I reckon that the author knows it but it does make some sort of sense. Of course things like this are just jumping on the negative body image bandwagon that seems to be so apparent all the time. I would say that there are lessons to be learned when it comes to body image as a whole especially when it concerns the media however this article needs to be read with a pinch of salt.

5. Bigger fashion TV program! To put it simply, this looks great though I doubt it will get much attention. We are a very weight obsessed world and while that may well be needed at times in terms of health it shouldn't have such a control over fashion. As a 'bigger girl' myself I find it extremely aggravating going shopping because fashion doesn't tend to extend to bigger sizes in high street shops. The clothes exist but they're often more like what you'd imagine your grandma wearing not what you'd choose to wear. There are many online shops that cater for bigger sizes with more fashionable clothes but these do tend to cost an awful lot more unfortunately. I have come across quite a few American sites that have some fantastic clothes in for bigger women but the P&P charges are phenomenal. I just hope that at least this program could bring such issues to light.

By the way the Top Five list wasn't in any particular order and it's also something that I'm going to try and do every week.

Thirteenth of July.

Now might be a good time to admit my obsession with Cars. I absolutely love it! I love it more than polar bears love Coca-Cola (and obviously the fact that polar bears love Coca-Cola is definitely true, not at all imaginary)! I have Cars blankets, cuddly toys, moving toys, films, cups, sandwich boxes, pencils, colouring books, paper, books, towels, games... I beat my five year old cousin with the Cars paraphernalia. Boyo buys me a lot of it too, he knows how to make me truly happy :) I mentioned that he visited last weekend, he brought me a huge cuddly Lightning McQueen!!

I cannot wait to see the film! Annoyingly Boyo's graduation is the same day so I doubt I'll get to see it as soon as it's released but I'll even go by myself if I have to. The film will be awesome, end of. Especially since it's got Michael Cane in and the story has spies in. Oooh, I'm so excited! 

P.s Sorry the video is quite small I couldn't figure out how to make it bigger.

The Eleventh of July.

I'm home, working again and being a general household slave.

Nothing's too exciting in my life at the moment unfortunately. Boyo did come to visit on Saturday and we had a lazy evening accompanied by my sister, but that's it.

Every single day I read, cook, clean and look for jobs in Leeds. Boyo buggered up the move to Leeds by getting a job straight away so right now he's kipping on his mate's floor in Leeds until I can find a job so that we can find a flat.

That hasn't stopped us from looking at flats already though. We're going to need to know our options immediately when, not if, I get a job as I can't really commute from Durham. Some of the flats are gorgeous and some horrific. We went to look at two flats when I was last in Leeds and they were tiny! I don't think we could survive for long in such close quarters, I may love him but not that much! So we're now looking at two bedroom flats in order to have some more space.

The job hunt isn't going too well either. The jobs I actually want I get rejected from and the ones I don't want I still can't get because I don't have a driving licence. Honestly, is being able to drive that important?! I thought I was just helping the environment ect ect, and no not learning to drive wasn't a concious decision because I'm some green activist, I just couldn't get out of second gear. Great aren't I?

Boyo's graduation is in eleven days time which is much closer that I thought so I'm needing some amazing outfit for that but when I'm earning only £25 a week and I need to be saving for a flat deposit the likelihood of a new outfit isn't looking good. Nevertheless I have been browsing...

As you can see I've gone patterns galore here which is rather unusual for me but it is supposed to me more flattering for bigger women, like me. Of course I did the usual trawl though plus size websites but, as usual, nothing took my fancy. I particularly like the jump suits from Dorothy Perkins and I can see them being really quite figure flattering but I'm worried they might be just a little tight round the tummy. Hey I'll just have to try them on. The green dress is gorgeous but I doubt big boobs will look right in it though the waist cinch is perfect for creating a more hourglass shape. I love the leather wedge as it looks very like some my friend had and they were incredibly comfy and since they're in the sale I think I may snap some up.

Well I'd best stop procrastinating and get on with searching for a job again. It's proving to be a little difficult to do whilst stroking my doggie at the same time - he must be very eager to see the back of me!

The Beginning.

Life; it's an overwhelming concept. 


I've managed to put mine on hold so far but now I need to make a decision as to what I'm going to do with my life. Like any, sane, person I'm terrified. I have no idea what to do. People seem to base their decision of you on what you do with your life and that generally means, in reality, how you earn your money. I don't want to live my life for work, I want the opposite. I want to be successful in all that I do, I want to settle down and I want to be HAPPY. 


Yes I may be wasting these few days, perhaps even weeks or months, on trying to decide what I will do for a job but I don't want that to define me. I want to go to a party and not be introduced as, for example, 'Beckey the teacher', I'd rather be introduced as 'Beckey the happiest person I know'. And I know I'm placing a lot of emphasis on being happy but personally I've struggled for so long with trying to be happy now that I am I don't want to put it in jeopardy. 


I've just celebrated my 21st birthday and finishing university and I've had a fantastic week. In this past year I've made some great friends whilst also reconnecting with old friends. There have been relapses, I have been scared and tentative, even afraid of being myself at times but I've got through it and I honestly believe that it's going to be uphill from here. 


My boyfriend of five and a half year are looking to get jobs in and move to Leeds. This is of course a little difficult when neither of us really know what kind of jobs we want. Perhaps we aren't concerned enough about jobs. We can't travel as neither of us have enough money, and I don't have a passport. Both of us are going back home to live there, annoyingly this is still going to keep us as apart as ever. The current, and vague, plan is that we get jobs in Leeds to start as soon as possible. 


This the first thing I've written in 3 years that I haven't obsessed over the word count, or the explicitness of ideas and concepts. This feels good.